True Friendship

Today was the first day in over three weeks that I can legitamatly remember having absolutely nothing to do after work and it felt wonderful. I got home at a decent time, changed into my cozy sweats and poured myself a glass of wine all before 5pm :) I did my usual "unwinding" by perusing facebook, and my other favorite blogs and then called Courtney, my longtime friend/college roomate whom is one of those people who you can go months without talking to and pick up right where you left off. It was EXACTLY what I needed. We caught up on everything and never once did we hold back. Often I feel like with friends who you don't talk to on a regular basis you sometimes hold back and don't confide in them as much as you would others...but not Courtney. In actuality, she's one that I can tell anything and everything to and know it's safe with her. Our lives are so similar on so many levels that it's sometimes scary. It fills my heart with happiness to know that Courtney will always be there for me no matter how far live takes us apart. We have a bond that cannot be broken. As I think about our conversation, it really makes me think about my friendships with others and how those friendships seem so much more empty. Maybe it's a time to re-evaluate my friendships and put more effort into those that bring me love and joy and eliminate those that don't. Either way, it was so nice to cozy up on the couch, glass of wine in hand, and chit chat with my college roomate/bff :)

Bellingham State of Mind

This makes me so happy. I spent four amazing years in Bellingham while in college, and this perfectly illustrates the city that I love. I miss it so, and wish I could return.

Finding my way...alone

The title of this post gives off the impression that the following will be a sad commentary about the lonely existence I lead, in this great big world full of happily married, or committed couples. Quite the contrary however, is the fact that this post is a happy post!

You see, this morning I gathered with my childhood girlfriends where we spent time chatting and catching up on life. I always love this time together because they are like family and I adore them as if they were my sisters. They're all married...yup every single one of them now, and that leaves me. Little 'ole me, just waiting for my knight in shining armor. They were all asking if I was on the internet doing the whole online dating thing again, and was surprised to hear that I in fact, was not. That's right, I'm taking a break from online dating. I need time to focus on myself, and this decision, I'm quite happy about. Our chatting continued about life in general, and then as we parted ways, I dashed over to the "bungalow" where I then helped set up for a friends bridal shower. It was a Vegas themed bridal shower and OH did I have fun. I swear I was like a little kid in a candy store, getting to  decorate and bring my creative juices to work! More on that goodness, later...back to the point at hand. Love.

At the bridal shower my 2 bf's and I were having fun setting up and were talking about dating and marriage and of course, they get to me, and determine that I need to get married. **in my mind "NEWSFLASH! HOW ON EARTH HAVE I NOT REALIZED THIS EARLIER!"*** Yep, I know. Trust me, I want to be married, but I refuse to settle. Again, conversation turns elsewhere (probably to the shenanigans of my latest dbag male friend whom I'm no longer speaking with) and I'm out of the spotlight again (yes!).

I then spent the evening with some other girl friends ( yes I know, I'm crazy busy) watching movies and relaxing. Of course we have to pick When In Rome, to watch which is a predictable romantic comedy. Once again, for the 3rd time today, I'm surrounded by the love conversation.

Ok so getting to the point. I usually leave each of these types of situations feeling a bit sad at the fact that I'm still single and living my life on my own. I also feel a bit nostalgic towards the good days with Dan, and wishing that he were still mine...that those happy times were still here and the marriage talk was in the works. But then I realize all of the things that were wrong with Dan, and realize that being single allows me to do the things important to me, and not have to worry about the needs of another person. I can do things on a whim, and am proud of myself for being a strong independent woman. I suppose, for the first time in a long time, I'm OK with being single. I actually don't mind it. Sure, of course I'd love to be loved by a man. I'd love to know that there's someone out there always thinking of me and wanting to be with me; wanting to one day be my husband and father to my children. But that will all come. I have to believe that. I have to believe that the time just isn't right for the two of us to come together, and that right now, my purpose in life, is to continue down this road of self-discovery, and acceptance of the person I am becoming.

Inside the mind of a 5 year old

Today was my third day with students and can I tell you how much I already adore them! I love spending my days with 5 and 6 year olds because they say the most hilarious things and really are just so innocent. Today a little one said, "My mom told me that if you get bitten by a wolf, you turn into one". My response "really, wouldn't that be scary?". To which he replied, "nope, I hope I get bitten by one...I want to be a wolf!"

And this is why I love my job :)

Free Your Glee

This weekend marks the start of another year of the Puyallup Fair, and oddly enough, I couldn't be more underwhelmed. I have great memories of the Fair, the greasy goodness of the food, the thrill of the rides, and the delicious milk samples from Wilcox (lets not even get me started on the creamy goodness of their freshly made swirl ice cream!). But this year is different. I could care less about the fair, and in all actuality, I wish it would go away. I live by the fair, and I hate the traffic! It takes me 15+ minutes extra each day to get home from work because of Fair traffic, the traffic revisions are stupid, and drivers are BRUTAL! This is the 14th year I've worked at the Fair however I will slap you silly if you call me a Carnie! :) It's fun, and I get to see my friends who I've come to love over the many years, and I especially love catching up with my "regulars" who give me freebies at the fair because they like me so much! :) And who am I kidding, it's fun to flirt with them...just because I can ;) I suppose there is some positive that comes from the Fair, but right now, as I sit here smelling of greasy Fair food, and my feet are throbbing, the last thing I want to do is head back there in less than 10 hours!

Random Acts of Kindness

Yesterday as I was heading to a volleyball meeting (yes, a meeting on Labor Day..who does that!) I decided to stop at Starbucks to pick up a Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate ( I know, it's like a party in your mouth it's THAT delicious). I was pulling in to the drive through and this car speeds through the lot, and cuts me off just to get in front of me! UGH! needless to say I had some not so nice words for her, and sat with a scowl on my face as she spoke into the speaker, clearly indecisive as it took FOREVER! As I pull up to the window to pay and pick up my cup 'o'  heaven,  the way to perky guy at the window informs me that the car in front of me paid for my drink! WHAT!! THIS NEVER HAPPENS TO ME! WHOOO HOOO!! Of course I then paid it forward and bought the guys drink behind me. I hope the trend continued.

As I drove away I realized that I wasn't following the 90/10 rule. 90% of life happens TO us that we can't control, and only 10% that happens to us we can control. I could have controlled my attitude and not so nice mouth, but I let it get the best of me. And for what? It wasn't going to get me up to that window, cup in hand, and on my way to the meeting any faster. Here I was being a brat, and the lady pays for my drink! Go figure. Lesson learned. Heart warmed. Kindness appreciated and delicious drink in hand.

Smiles!

My very first blog!

I'm here because I feel like I need an outlet...some place where I can be me. I am here to express my thoughts, adventures, successes, failures, goals, outlooks, and anything else I feel is worthy of being documented. Even though I'm single, and independent, I refuse to be the crazy cat lady sitting alone in her condo talking to the cats, so I figured I could "talk" here! I have no idea what will come of this, so here goes!