The title of this post gives off the impression that the following will be a sad commentary about the lonely existence I lead, in this great big world full of happily married, or committed couples. Quite the contrary however, is the fact that this post is a happy post!
You see, this morning I gathered with my childhood girlfriends where we spent time chatting and catching up on life. I always love this time together because they are like family and I adore them as if they were my sisters. They're all married...yup every single one of them now, and that leaves me. Little 'ole me, just waiting for my knight in shining armor. They were all asking if I was on the internet doing the whole online dating thing again, and was surprised to hear that I in fact, was not. That's right, I'm taking a break from online dating. I need time to focus on myself, and this decision, I'm quite happy about. Our chatting continued about life in general, and then as we parted ways, I dashed over to the "bungalow" where I then helped set up for a friends bridal shower. It was a Vegas themed bridal shower and OH did I have fun. I swear I was like a little kid in a candy store, getting to decorate and bring my creative juices to work! More on that goodness, later...back to the point at hand. Love.
At the bridal shower my 2 bf's and I were having fun setting up and were talking about dating and marriage and of course, they get to me, and determine that I need to get married. **in my mind "NEWSFLASH! HOW ON EARTH HAVE I NOT REALIZED THIS EARLIER!"*** Yep, I know. Trust me, I want to be married, but I refuse to settle. Again, conversation turns elsewhere (probably to the shenanigans of my latest dbag male friend whom I'm no longer speaking with) and I'm out of the spotlight again (yes!).
I then spent the evening with some other girl friends ( yes I know, I'm crazy busy) watching movies and relaxing. Of course we have to pick When In Rome, to watch which is a predictable romantic comedy. Once again, for the 3rd time today, I'm surrounded by the love conversation.
Ok so getting to the point. I usually leave each of these types of situations feeling a bit sad at the fact that I'm still single and living my life on my own. I also feel a bit nostalgic towards the good days with Dan, and wishing that he were still mine...that those happy times were still here and the marriage talk was in the works. But then I realize all of the things that were wrong with Dan, and realize that being single allows me to do the things important to me, and not have to worry about the needs of another person. I can do things on a whim, and am proud of myself for being a strong independent woman. I suppose, for the first time in a long time, I'm OK with being single. I actually don't mind it. Sure, of course I'd love to be loved by a man. I'd love to know that there's someone out there always thinking of me and wanting to be with me; wanting to one day be my husband and father to my children. But that will all come. I have to believe that. I have to believe that the time just isn't right for the two of us to come together, and that right now, my purpose in life, is to continue down this road of self-discovery, and acceptance of the person I am becoming.
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